dead battery

I would say that on any given day I could describe myself with characteristics of the

Energizer Bunny.

When in reality, I probably look more like a pile of dead batteries with no hope of getting a charge.






This is something my mother has been telling me for YEARS. "Hilary, you can do anything you want! Just not everything you want". "Hil, you gotta stop and charge the batteries every once and a while". "Hilary, make sure you don't run yourself ragged"... I have heard all of this, not only by my mother, but by others close to me.
I think the advice is finally sinking in.

In the last ten days, 5 of them I have left my car somewhere overnight due to drinking or being out late with friends. I see this as a good thing and a bad thing...

a) I am so proud of myself for not drinking and driving and knowing that it is OK to take a cab or call a friend if you have had a few too many.

b) I am not so proud that out of the ten days I mentioned, only half of them were spent NOT partying.

c) I am even more proud of myself for noticing that this is an issue and I need to fix it and re focus.

I do not want this to be a post about how I may or may not drink too much. Because I am 21 yrs old and enjoying life. I do want this to be a post about how easy it is to lose focus and get lost in the "fun" of it all.

I am a social person, and alone time is not something I need or want very often. I enjoy going out and being wild, but I think I have hit a wall and need to take a look at some things in my life.

I am moving out of the apartment that my sister and I share in June. I am getting a place of my own and starting over. I am putting 100% of my effort into finding other side jobs doing hair (funeral home, nursing home, kitchen hair etc etc) so that come June, I wont have to get a waitresing job. I am trying to do all of these things while still going out 6 nights a week??? This needs to change... So I am starting today!

It is Friday and I am home. I worked from 9-5 and then had a very nice date with Joe. Went to the gym for an hour and now I am home and ready for bed before 11pm. Tomorrow and the rest of the weekend I plan to spend at home organizing my living space. I want to go through my crafting "junk" and my clothing "junk"... I want to take this weekend and de clutter as much as I can!

My friends and boyfriend are all out having chocolate martinis right now and I am at home blogging. . . Does it make me an old woman because I am totally ok with that!? I dont think so. Starting tomorrow I am going to regain focus and spend the weekend getting into a better and more healthy state of mind.