A Broken Record

Here we go again...
Back to the drawing board of what is wrong with Hilary.
When I was in middle school is was "stomach migraines"
Then in high school it was test after test just to find out it was endometriosis.
Then the surgery that was a temporary fix and a ticking time clock on my baby making belly.
Don't forget about the freak incident in Indianapolis that hospitalized me for a day because I had a vein go into overdrive which sent me into momentary loss of motor function.
Most recent was the news of a severely tilted uterus.
Now, the abnormal cells that they found last year, and told me would go away due to the fact that I was so young, are still here..... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!?!?!
At this point I don't cry or freak out. The me 5 years ago would be with my mom at Barnes and Noble doing research and hitting our knees in mass amounts of prayer. Screw it.
I am ok with the fact that I have an "abnormal body". I have faced the music that I may not be able to have children and that I live with chronic pain (now under control with minor hick ups. Fingers Crossed). But I am SO tired of feeling "broken".
And that is what this feels like. I know that I could have it way worse, and I am thankful every day that I am healthy and living a full and happy life. But this unknown feeling of brokenness is starting to sound like a broken record.
So, on April 14Th I will hopefully find out what these stupid abnormal cells have to hold for me in the future, and I will kick their ass just like everything else that has come my way.
Today on the other hand... I am gonna feel broken and sad that this stuff keeps coming my way. I think a good run and some Mumford and Sons is exactly what I need after work.
:)